Speaking Freely: When It Just....Happens

Last night I spoke freely about God. I didn't even realize I was doing it until it happened and I felt nothing. I didn't feel guilt, shame, regret, awkward, or weird in anyway! I didn't feel like talking about God was equivalent to cussing  out an old woman who had fallen and couldn't get up (I'm not always the best at analogies).

So I walked into the house around 10:30 last night after working one of the crazy LSU football games in the Louisiana heat. I was looking rough...and when I say rough I mean people could have shouted, "Oh good lord take a bath already!" It was nasty.

When I walk in, I knew one of my roommates had a friend over because of the extra car out front. I didn't think anything of it until I walk in and see a guy sitting on the couch watching TV. I kind of just look at him, look at me, and then say, "Wow I'm sorry. I look really rough for meeting someone for the first time." He didn't care or anything but I was still exhausted and my inhibitions for life were nowhere to be found, so whatever came to mind, pretty much came out.

I didn't know if this guy was a Christian or not (still don't) but we started talking and just wherever God was in my life, I said so. Wherever God fit into my story, I didn't censor it. If I spoke of something Jesus had ordained, I said it. It was mind blowing because I didn't even realize what I was doing until the next morning!

See, this past week Satan has really been trying to pull me back to his level which includes being insecure in friendships and being drunk on complacency with God. I started believing (again) that I wasn't doing enough to feel like I was dating God -- as if it were something I could force myself to feel or something I could do enough of whatever to attain. And I was also thinking my friends weren't really my friends and were judging me on my past sins and mistakes instead of appreciating my new heart (still working on putting that lie down).

Then at church this morning, God let me know that I was, in fact, doing the "right" thing but it was becoming second-nature and I wasn't realizing it. Thus the conversation with my roommate's friend. It just happened. I didn't have to worry about what he thought and, honestly, I didn't care. I just talked about Jesus like He was my best friend that I have lunch dates with every day (which I kind of do anyhow...). I don't know how he received my honesty and vulnerability, but I feel like we might be friends...? Haha

Pursuing a relationship with Christ DOES NOT mean reading your bible 8 times a day, fasting 1 week a year, going to church every Sunday, going to bible study, or any other "you must do x" things you can think of. It's all about enjoying God with you 24/7. Reading your bible is just a perk! Seriously, it's already written on our hearts so technically when we accept Christ we don't have to read it, but when you do you have the information in your heart also in your mind and that's where we need it sometimes because our hearts can lead us astray more times than not. Brains and hearts do NOT always work together for your own good.

It's just really encouraging to have God sit there and tell me I'm doing what I need to. I'm not stressing about doing 'x' and I'm not stressing about not doing 'y,' I'm just enjoying His companionship and letting Him make me feel like the lady He created me to be.