I haven't published anything as of late, mostly because I don't know what I want to say. But here's a good thing that happened and I wanted to share.
I was talking with a friend via Facebook the other day. We went through the pleasantries and then she asked, "How are you and Jesus? "
I generally hate this question because...well, it seems pretentious and annoying. But I pondered it for a few days. I wanted to know how I was with Jesus, so I figured I'd answer.
After 3 days or so, here is what I replied:
If i had to put our relationship on fb it would be best defined at "it's complicated". It's not in a bad way or anything...just in a I like to cheat on him a lot. In that, he's been so patient and kind in how he loves me...and oh how he loves me! ...that he's been teaching me that only he can guard my heart and every time a guy (generally) hurts me or I hurt myself in my vulnerability I shut him out along with the rest of the world. He has patiently sat outside my walls so many times and joyfully reentered when I was ready. I'm learning to keep jesus inside the walls...bc they aren't ready to turn into gates just yet. He has shown me freedom in vulnerability both the good freedom in HIS vulnerability and the bad in the "freedom" the vulnerability of sin seems to create. Basically, I make this relationship complicated bc I'm a silly little air headed girl that is only beginning to allow jesus to show her how wonderful she really is and revel in her vulnerability while he becomes her protector, lover, friend, and all the things he's ever claimed to be.
That's how jesus and I are. Ha. Any questions?
It's honest, and some might read it and be taken aback or offended because how could a christian that attends church, discipleship, lifegroups, etc allowed to feel like all is great all the time? (Sarcasm note)
Love yall,
Maggie Mae
