I Overcame Temptation

Today I decided to fast. It went so well that now I'm planning on trying to do it once a week.

I did a lot of research and it's a really helpful thing for people with insulin resistance (which I have)!  Having IR makes it super difficult to lose weight and super easy to gain weight...the bad kind (fat). My body is literally biologically engineered to gain fat. So finding out intermittent fasting could HELP me become more insulin sensitive and lose weight more like a normal person was so incredible!  I didn't have expectations but the Lord started blowing me away with this first glance of the tip of the ice burg.

It taught me how bad of a habit I have to eat first think later and how codependent I am on food. At my office, people wanting to get in good with the doctors bring treats. Yesterday, panera bread pastry ring, dunkin donuts, and cake balls. WHAT?! Well I gave in....a couple times. I felt some unidentified twinge in my gut. That twinge was later on identified as the Holy Spirit. Straight up conviction. Not to get too holy rolling here...but I didn't feel guilt. I didnt feel shame...I didnt even feel excitement for the indulgence. But as I finally spoke to God again after another binge on sliders and fries with a sprinkle of justification, He told me that hesitation I felt was His conviction and I had to start practicing discipline in order to begin overcoming temptation. Yes, you can say it, "ouch!" Holy smack. So I began the fast.

I found out I eat because of time not hunger. Hunger has been the enemy for so long...and today showed me it doesn't have to be. It might not be a friend but it's like an assistant. Dependable, reliable, consistent....and I prayed through some of it too.

When I came home I ate a small portion of spaghetti, peas, and a cupcake. Not a single twinge of guilt or shame. I had the urge (still do) to continue to eat. But I asked God to make the food I ate satisfying. To make the cupcake just enough (probably way more than needed) sugar to satisfy me. To make the spaghetti provisional as opposed to just tastey. And to make the peas filling. And everything was extra delicious. I could taste all the spices and flavors...that's probably just because I was super hungry

But the craziest thing is, I didn't feel a bit  different at the end of the day. I was hungry, my head hurt, and I was tired. Which just tells me there's something wrong with what I'm putting in my body if it feels the same when I don't put anything in.

C.S. Lewis in "Mere Christianity" tells us that Christ is the only person to have overcome temptation 100% of the time, but that you only know how hard temptation is to overcome once you've overcome it. I don't know that I've ever overcome it. That I've ever been completely faithful to a diet, a change,  or to that twinge of conviction. But today I did. I let God back in just a little and He did something I never thought I could do.

It's like I won today. It's like we won today. I beat temptation today. And that is the biggest step I have ever taken.