I just got home from a laid back kind of Saturday. I’m not
entirely used to Saturdays yet and don’t always know how to spend them, but
today after having open-house at the daycare and meeting my kids, spending some
time with my class-team (other teachers in my class), I’m feeling more
confident about where God has me right now. I mean I’ve had lots of anxiety
about working with the people in my class— wondering if we’ll get along and if
we can move past differences and learn to communicate— but God keeps shooting me
with these little peace arrows. I swear it’s like Cupid’s arrows but with
peace, and just enough to make the breaths come easy and deep.
On my way home from my day out seeing friends and just
walking around on a surprisingly “cool” New Orleans' day, I stopped on the levee to check
out the Mississippi River. It’s still pretty high right now and there’s something
about the river I always find soothing. I could seriously sit there for hours
and just watch the water churn as the barges are led by tugboats down towards
their ports.
As I was walking up the levee I looked up and saw this
picture perfect scene! Clouds just above the manicured levee (doesn’t happen
often, let’s be honest) and the sun in a comfortable position that wasn’t too
high or low; you didn’t have to shade your eyes as you walked up the levee and
you didn’t feel like you were baking either. So, what did I do as a young woman
in the twenty-first century? I took out my phone and took a picture. Then I took
my sunglasses off and used then as a filter and took another picture because Instagram’s
filters aren’t cool enough for me.
I continued to walk up the levee and when I reached the top I
was welcomed by a muddy smell. The river was high but not remarkably. I was
actually a little disappointed. The view wasn’t horrible, except for the huge
industrial plant I could see directly across from where I was.
Despite the smell and awkward view, I decided to stay because it wasn’t terribly hot. I picked a
spot in what I always called "scaredy cat grass" and
sat. I was suddenly targeted by gnats and other little bugs I couldn’t see and
because The Muddy Mississippi isn’t so pretty up close in person, splashing
along its banks, I gave up sitting after about five minutes and headed back to
the car. It simply wasn’t worth it.
Here’s the thing, though, when I got in my car I decided to
look at the picture from when I walked up the levee. It was beautiful. Something
you might see on a calendar or a post card. Well, maybe I’m biased but I liked
it. I also really like clouds and levees…haha.
And of course Jesus had something to say about the picture
that I was so excited about.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “It’s not always about the
destination; it’s about the journey.” Well, yea. I feel like this post should
end there, but the Lord went on!
I’m SUCH a destination person. Like, God could tell me I’m
meant to do “x” or I’m called to “y” and I’ll be like, “Cool, so I’ma just
chill here till something happens to make me magically appear at ‘x’ or get to ‘y’.”
I’m not kidding right now. I don’t like to struggle and will avoid it at all
cost, but right now I am struggling. I'm practically driving that Struggle Bus! Hope is difficult to come by and joy is sometimes-- often-- fleeting right now. I'm not "living the dream" right now, and that's where I want to get to and it's a hard road.
But today the Lord made it so clear to me that you HAVE to look up
during your journey. You HAVE to see what’s around you. You HAVE to take note,
notice, explore, experience...because if not you’re just going to be staring at
the ugly arrow on the ugly asphalt out of breath because you don’t work out
like you should as you walk up this levee instead of noticing the grass has
been cut for the first time in eighteen months and the clouds are perfect and
the sky is blue and beautiful and the sun is bright but lovely and you are happy
and hopeful and somehow know, really and truly KNOW deep within your soul that
everything will be okay; that no matter where you are in life—becoming a
teenager, quarter-life crisis, learning marriage, parenthood, non-parenthood,
mid-life crisis, etc—God loves you and you are Chosen with a capital C even if
you don’t entirely get what that means but you know that you are Loved with a
capital L and you somehow know exactly what that means.
Look up and experience the struggle, because, my dear ones,
the struggle is part of the story, and there is hope in it. Pause and breathe. Life is made up of
desperate, suffering people that need each other and, more so, Jesus. We are
all struggling but if some of us just would look up and pause for a moment and
notice the beauty on occasion, maybe we could help each other out.
Today my destination turned out to matter very little. In
fact, before this revelation I would have said it was a bust. But now, now I
say it was amazing and just what I needed, which the Lord knew. He’s known it for
so long, and today my stubborn self said okay and went with it.
Keep on keeping on.
--Maggie Mae
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